Spreadsheet Dating Is the New Red Flag!

How over-optimization is sabotaging your actual connections.

June 20, 2025

Read time: 2.5 minutes

If you've ever used VLOOKUP to find your soulmate or PivotTable to track your heartbreak, you're not alone.

Modern daters are bringing their professional skills to the dating pool... with disastrous results. We're talking:

✔️ Filtering matches like CRM leads. ("Must have 5+ years relationship experience").

✔️ Conditional formatting red flags. (Literally).

✔️ Building complex "compatibility models" that crash harder than your last situationship.

Here's the painful truth your formulas won't show you:

1. Your Dashboard Can't Measure Chemistry.

That beautifully tracked "first date success rate" chart? Worthless when you meet someone who defies all your metrics. Real connection isn't quantifiable; it's the unplanned laugh that breaks your "no jokes before date 3" rule.

2. You're Optimizing for the Wrong Variables.

Height. Income. Zodiac sign. Meanwhile, the happiest couples report "emotional safety" as their #1 predictor, something no dropdown menu can capture.

3. Analysis Paralysis Is Killing Your Love Life.

Every hour spent tweaking your "ideal partner matrix" is an hour not spent:

→ On actual dates,

→ Healing from past patterns,

→ Developing the emotional skills that actually build relationships.

The Data-Driven Dating Fix:

🔹 Use tools to screen, not decide. (Save formulas for budgeting, not butterflies.)

🔹 Track behaviors, not just traits. (How they handle conflict > their star sign.)

🔹 Schedule "unplugged" dates. (No post-date analytics allowed.)

Brutal Reality Check:

Your dream partner won't be found in column Z. Close the laptop. Say "hi" to someone in person. (Yes, even if it breaks your color-coded system.)

Your dashboard is lying to you — get the data truths no one’s charting.

✅ Unlock the human side of metrics. SUBSCRIBE before your next burnout graph peaks.

✅ Follow Glenda Carnate now — because actionable data doesn’t live in theory threads.

✅ Ever tracked something that totally betrayed you? Comment and spill the spreadsheet tea.

✅ Someone in your network is still trusting their life to a spreadsheet. Save them. Share this.

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